94 - Frustration Occurs Most Often When People Don't Know How to Contribute

Dear David,

I remember when you were Little, and could not yet speak well. You would occasionally, whine, cry, or even have a tantrum, for reasons that had no obvious explanation at the time.

The root cause was, that you had developed more sophisticated needs than your language skills could express. I would ask you, "What's wrong, David?" and you would even more frustrated.

If only you could have said, "I would like to help set the table for dinner, please", things would have been so much better for both of us. I could have shown you how to set the table or, more likely, explained why it was not presently a good idea to have you handling sharp utensils and glassware. But, you could not use your words.

Communication between us has improved markedly since you were Number Two. Your tantrums are rare now, thank goodness.

But you will always find times when you are frustrated, and when people around you are frustrated, too. People want to help, but sometimes they do not know how. Sometimes, people just don't know what to say or do.

When those moments of frustration occur, try to remember that people are good, and want to contribute. What you can do to be helpful at those moments, is to try and understand the source of others' frustration. Maybe you can't do anything about the thing that is frustrating them, but you can try and help them understand it. Helping other people understand how to contribute, is a very useful thing. Try to help people find their words.

Love,

Daddy